Friend or Lover???

I would rather keep myself quiet for a while. I just wanted to forget someone who unknowingly hurt my feelings. (not totally forget him but forget my feelings for him) It hurts a lot to know that the person you liked the most doesn't give importance to what you have said to him. You already said everything to him, give all your trust to him and yet doesn't even appreciate it. All he has said and done was just a joke... I've fallen for him because of his character, he always makes me happy by cracking a joke and he has been a good friend of mine. But this time when I already told him seriously how I felt for him, he doesn't believe me. He told me that it is okay with him if I have feelings for him because he knows that it is just a joke.. He always joke me that he might also fall for me, that's why my feelings for him gets stronger. I never demand any secrets from him. I also respect him if he really doesn't want me to know his secrets. But because I already told him mine and after I have swallowed my pride telling him that, I can't help myself to somehow expect that he would tell something about him or how he felt for me. All I wanted to know is: if there is a mutual understanding going on between us or it is just purely friendship? I am really lost. I don't know wher to stand. I wanted to fight for my feelings for him if only I know that he felt the same way I do. But if not, I would rather forget my feelings and fight for our friendship.. And that's what I am trying to do now.

Why am I doing this? How do I arrive to that decision?

It is because I realized that if he really wanted/liked me. He will tell me how he felt for me right after I have confess my feelings with him. I think that would be a great chance for him to tell me something but he doesn't. He is so inconsistent telling me things with double meaning like he is happy to know that I like him and he might also fallen for me but suddenly telling me that it is just a joke. Sometimes I felt sincerety to what he is saying, even if he is telling me that it is just a joke. I don't want to be assuming therefore I don't believe every single word he says. But then, I am still affected and I can't help it. I am afraid that something might change in our friendship. So, I decided to forget my feelings. I don't want to loose him so I will keep him as my friend...

**Actually I already asked him a favor of reminding me that we are just friends but he said that it would be difficult for him to do that because he might also forget that we are just friends.

**I already did my part. I also take the risk.. Hope that some boys like him out there would have the courage to tell someone they like before they loose the chance. t_t


"People are given the opportunity to meet the love of their lives, some unexpected, some thru the years of friendship, and some by chance, some in an instant. Only a few have the foresight to see beyond imperfections and take it whole heartedly. Learn to appreciate the people around you 'coz you might lose a person who cares the most..."